I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I tried. I promise I tried. I really did.

I made it to minute 35 of this almost two hour film (and if you’re counting, that’s more than a fourth) and I turned it off, beacuse nothing happened. You think I’m kidding. Nothing. Happened.

If you’ve read any of my other discussions, I mention cinematography a lot. I’m not particularly knowledgeable or techincal with that subject, but I notice when the camera is directing focus in an unusual way or moving with a different feel. However, there is one caveat: I like cinematography when the camera is looking at SOMETHING. Ten minutes of panning around in an ‘artful’ way around fog and a giant gray rock that I guess is supposed to look interesting, impressive, or foboding is not creating atmosphere or ‘cinematography’. It is boring and unnecessary.

Amy Adams had no charisma in this movie. None. I saw her in Enchanted (I love this movie; some might argue it’s a child’s movie or not very artistic or whatever the criticism might be, to which I retort AT LEAST SOMETHING HAPPENED) and she sparkled; in this movie, she was about as captivating as the endless fog the camera was intent on focusing on.

How do you make aliens this boring? I mean, it’s really hard to do aliens well, but it is not that hard to make them mildly interesting. I don’t get it. Maybe the movie was focused on atmosphere, but there has to be an atmosphere to focus on. There was no tone. There was no emotion or suspense. The only word I have associated with this movie is gray. Everything was gray. Emotionless, dull, lifeless, gray. Look, there’s gray fog. Look, there’s a giant gray rock. 35 minutes of gray. I skipped forward ten minutes after that 35 to see if anything was going to happen that I could skip ahead to. Nothing did.

Oh, wait, something happened. There was that awkward, strained, unbearably cliche attempt at some human feeling with the montage in the beginning. Her daughter died. It affected her. We know this because of the voiceover. Yes, on top of everything else, this movie opened with a montage and a voiceover.

There is one nice thing I can discuss. Jeremy Renner is cool. I can’t tell you anything about his character because he had hardly any screentime before I turned the movie off, but I can tell you that his lines were enough to wake me up long enough to look at the screen, see gray, and fall asleep again.

I tried. I swear, I tried.




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